Style
Are We Still Pretending We Dress for Ourselves?
We’ve all said it at some point, right? “I dress for myself.” It’s a well-intentioned mantra—confident, defiant, feminist even. A rejection of the male gaze, societal pressure, and fashion’s revolving door of approval. But here’s the thing: do we really dress for ourselves? Or have we just gotten better at dressing for others in ways that feel like autonomy?
The Comfort Myth
The most common argument for dressing “for yourself” is comfort. But comfort isn’t just physical—it’s social too. Oversized blazers, normcore sneakers, a well-worn pair of vintage jeans… sure, they're comfy. But they’re also Instagram-safe. They're cool-comfortable, not “pajamas in public” comfortable.
If we really dressed for pure comfort, wouldn’t we be living in stretchy leggings and socks with sandals all year round?
The Mirror Isn't the Only Audience
Even when no one’s watching, we’re imagining someone who might. A crush, a coworker, our ex’s new partner stalking our stories. We say we dress for the “vibe,” the “mood,” the “aesthetic.” But vibes are curated, moods are marketable, and aesthetics often come with a silent audience in mind.
Even our “I don’t care” looks are loaded with subtext—because the truth is, we do care. And that’s not shameful. That’s human.
Style as Performance, Not Pretending
Let’s be honest: fashion has always been a performance. We wear armor when we’re nervous. We soften edges with flowy silhouettes on days we feel vulnerable. We dress with intention for dates, interviews, and even just brunch—because we know we’ll be seen. And that doesn’t cancel out self-expression. It is self-expression.
Sometimes, dressing for yourself means dressing for the moment—and the eyes that come with it.
The Social Media Effect
There’s a reason you’ve never posted a mirror selfie in that same oversized hoodie you actually live in. Social media turned personal style into shared content. Now, even our most “unbothered” outfits go through a mental filter: would I post this? Would it get saved? Would it say something about me?
Dressing has become digital branding. It's less “I like this” and more “What does this say about me to them?”
It’s Okay to Dress for the World—As Long As You Know It
Maybe the better question isn’t who we dress for, but why. For some, it’s validation. For others, it’s fun. Sometimes it’s a mask, sometimes it’s a megaphone. But dressing is rarely done in a vacuum—and pretending otherwise doesn’t empower us. Owning the complexity does.
Summary
Style Doesn’t Need to Be Pure—Just Honest
You don’t need to dress solely for yourself to have autonomy. You can dress for attention, admiration, flirtation, or your future self. The lie isn’t that we dress for others—it’s pretending we never do. Let’s drop the pretense and embrace the whole picture: style is layered, performative, and powerful. Just like us.
